This book is a prime example of the category of books “I would never have bought myself”. It has presented itself as a lesson of the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, throwing in an additional one on “Don’t judge a book by its title”. It looks cheesy, it sounds cheesy, which it also is in reality when you will have to go through quite a few cringe-worthy phrases, but if you filter out solely the informational aspect – it does present quite a few interesting topics to the reader.
The author touches upon a wide variety of subject matters and while the book does have a focus on romantic relationships, it offers valuable insights on relationships among all people in general. The more scientifically explained parts were the ones that spoke to me the most. Even though we might have already heard that our daily life is mostly dominated by our subconscious, it is the first time that I read out how difficult it is to change these subconscious beliefs that we’re driven by, as if by an invisible hand pushing us in a certain direction. In your conscious you might be an accepting and kind person, whereas your actual actions still reflect your traumas you’re carrying around from your childhood. This book helps you build an understanding towards others – instead of being judgemental towards a certain behaviour, it motivates you to analyse its underlying roots.
“Since most of the [subconscious] programming occurred before we were seven, and especially since most of our personality was defined before we were born, our conscious minds may have no clue what was downloaded into our subconscious minds.” (p. 90)
Other highly interesting topics that are touched upon are:
- Biological examples of behaviour within the animal kingdom – from the reasons behind coupling, to the choice of partners or even how you can contradict those crazy, every now & then occurring arguments, saying that homosexuality isn’t “natural”;
“Perhaps if more people realized that coupling in higher organisms is fundamentally about bonding, not only the drive to reproduce, there would be less prejudice against homosexuality.” (p. 8)
- Psychological effects of different kinds of upbringing of children, as well as all the processes that have emotional influence on the formation of a fetus;
- Scientific proof of how our brain creates energetic waves outside of its physical shape, leading up to the conclusion that if the smallest parts of atoms or particles are made up of matter (meaning a certain type of energy), it’s not too bogus of a belief to say that each body might have its individual energetic field;
- But also other little details briefly touched upon, such as the theory of Feng Shui or why the formation of specific habits might be the solution to the change of a certain way of thinking.
“Repetition leads to habituation, and that is the fundamental mechanism for programming subconscious behavior patterns.” (p. 93)
If the description has spiked your interest at least a bit, I’d suggest you to give it a try. It’s not too long, just about 150 pages of pure text, so even if it’s not quite your thing, you won’t be wasting too much time. Do go into the reading prepared to be filtering out the information that might be relevant to you though. You’ll have to brace yourself for quite a few cheesy and cliché American kind of expressions, as well as having the author self-advertise his other book, “The Biology of Belief”. Just so that you’re prepared, here a few quotes of the less enjoyable parts you would come across:
“Rather than blending different color tints, the brain is a love potion mixing machine stocked with an array of neurochemicals and hormones that researchers have linked to the biochemistry of love.” (p. 53)
“To explain that sweeping statement, I need to go back to chemistry. Not to the chemical stew of love potions that course through your body when you’re madly in love but to the elements in the periodic table […].” (p. 106)
“I envision verdant, organic field, loving parents, Happily Ever After couples, and an amazing new butterfly that emits laser light.” (p. 131)
Once you manage to get over both the cover, as well as the name of the book (which probably wouldn’t have been possible for me, unless I was gifted the book, which was the case here), I believe that there’s at least a little something that can be drawn out for each reader. Concerning my rating, there is a 1 ★ reduction for the cheesy parts that I didn’t enjoy, but otherwise it’s a valuable book that can contribute to your personal change of your own habits. To finish off, here is one last little quote which illustrates the mood of the book:
” ‘There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.’ – Einstein.” (p. 150)